My name is Mary Kominska. The story of my life may sound like something out of a novel or tabloid magazine because I have survived:

• Teenaged parents totally unprepared for parenthood
• Addiction to multiple drugs
• Three marriages and three pregnancies
• Job layoffs
• Losing loved ones who supported me

In spite of all of this, I’m doing well and better every day. The following story is about what happened, how things changed, and how I continue to succeed.

By the time I was six months old, Dad was gone and Mom, with multiple addictions, fled Chicago to follow her mother to California. For years, every day was chaotic.

Mom’s addictions included men. One marriage lasted three years. She also lived with a guy while having others over when he was at work. The only time I felt safe was when I could visit with my Grandmother Dee who lived in Lake Havasu City.

In 7th grade I met Tammy Schlador at school (my other safe place). Tammy invited me to church and for the first time, I experienced life with what a family should be.

From then until my senior year, I would live with them when not staying with Mom.  It meant being stretched between light (with the Schladors) and darkness (with Mom).  You see, living with Mom gave me open access to drugs and alcohol. Once she even held a knife to my throat. This paved the way for the Schladors to obtain custody of me. 

So I worked hard to graduate with my class of 87. Sadly, I was pregnant in the spring of graduation…and deeply ashamed of letting the Schladors down.  I graduated and gave birth to a girl.

I also went back to my mother.

Once there, I knew I did not want my daughter to repeat my life! I put her up for adoption through Christian Family Care, returned to the Schladors and met Scott Kominska, an amazing man. Had I been ready to let him into my life then, the next 27 years would be a totally different story.

Instead my life spun out of control.

It started with joining my birth parents, now reunited in Chicago. It was a total disaster and I returned to Arizona. The next blow was losing Dad Schlador. His love and support had been steadfast and his death left a gap I struggled to overcome.  I got pregnant from a one night stand and this time had an abortion. I continued to drink and drug.

In 1992, at age 23, I met James who like me, was broken and his problems with the law forced us out of Arizona. We fled to Kokomo, Indiana where I gave birth to our son Bryan. We married, started going to church and got baptized.  But this too wouldn’t last.   James was arrested and extradited back to Arizona.

I finally kicked my meth habit but at 29, drink and prescription drugs were still part of my life. I divorced James and looked for love in all the wrong places. This led to marriage to Beau – another broken person.

When I turned 37, I started an Avon business (while working full time) because I needed extra money. Then I got laid off from my full time position.  Beau wanted a divorce (which would prove to be good) but another major loss, Mom Schladors death reopened old wounds.

For next six years, selling Avon, now my current business was the only thing working.

But life would finally turn around in 2013.

Scott came back into my life and we married. Two years later I contacted my mother. Nothing had changed – but I told her I loved her and forgave her. I’m grateful we had that last time to talk. In six months she would be dead from brain cancer and in spite of all she put me through; I felt God showed me where forgiveness needed to happen.

Life was better, but we still had hurdles.

In 2018, James died and our son Bryan came to stay with us. Our suspicions of heroin use were confirmed and we detoxed him. He relapsed and was arrested. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was hurting him more than helping. It was a painful revelation. 

Then in 2019, he reached out for our help. Once again he was off and on – the last relapse due to forced working at home because of Covid.  Late January of 2021 he went to rehab for 30 days, participated in PHP (Partial Hospitalization) while residing in a sober living facility and had a job change.  I am grateful for his continued sobriety.

Scott and I had another problem. After two bankruptcies in my previous marriages, we avoided a third through the help of Financial Peace University through Central Christian Church.

And this church did so much more. At 49, I embraced their Boundaries program. At 50, I facilitated three Rooted Experiences and helped start an in-person bible study at Streetlight USA with 2 others. (I now support behind the scenes as God was calling me in a different direction.) 

Joyce Meyer, who is a Christian author, has also been a great source for my growth.  I have attended and served at several of her conferences.  During Covid I even got to be on Zoom with her during one of her virtual conferences. I continue reading her books and watching her videos daily.

So often this rollercoaster life was too hard to live.  I felt like Humpty Dumpty, teetering on a fence where I could have fallen to good or bad. I understand the searing pain when trusted family and friends die or let you down.

And I know how frustrating life is when nothing seems to work out.

It’s why my faith in God and learning about Jesus has been so instrumental in uplifting me. I’ve been so blessed to have Scott and the Schladors in my life. Yet even with their presence, it took over 25 years to find the right path.

But I have found my path…and my voice. As a child I was punished to sit on my hands so I could not talk. (Remember the adage “children should be seen and not heard”?) Now I have a website that includes my blog. I speak to groups, participate in podcasts and lead Boundaries classes.  I’m even sought out to lead local events, something that years ago would not have seemed possible.

I know there are others, maybe you, who are overpowered by enormous obstacles.

You are not alone. 

I hope my story helps you find what you need to keep going. And I’m here to tell you that no matter what’s happening in your life right now…

Please don’t quit!