Making the choice to stay or leave a situation is something we wrestle with throughout our lives. Remember, the only constant in life is change.
So what does change mean to you? When you reach a point where what you’re doing is changing, or your priorities in life have changed, how do you react? Should you stop because it is no longer bringing value? Do you keep on because you’re afraid of what others will think? For this month and June, I’ll share examples of each scenario and how I made some difficult decisions.
Let’s start with when to stay. I’m delighted to tell you that this month, Scott and I are celebrating our 10-year anniversary! Funny thing is it could have been over 30 years…
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If you read my story, you know that I first met Scott when I was 18. At the time, he was ready to make a commitment to me. The problem was that I wasn’t ready for him. In fact, I would marry twice and neither marriage would last longer than seven years. And if I had stayed committed to my second marriage, I could have missed Scott all together. (Next month I’ll share more about how to move on.)
This month I will focus on the commitment I have made to Scott. As mentioned above, in spite of the fact he was a wonderful person then, I did not choose him. I wasn’t ready for him and looking back, I believe our marriage is as good as it is because I had to live through certain challenges in order to appreciate what we have together now. (On our seven-year anniversary, we even renewed our vows in a park due to Covid!)
I’m not telling you that every day is easy. We do have challenges. What I can say is that each day I realize I get to be in this marriage – not that I have to be here. I look forward to sharing my life with him and even when we have tough times or have to make tough decisions, I embrace every aspect of my commitment to him.
This is different than both of my previous marriages. Obviously, I went into each marriage with the idea of making a commitment. However, as life changed, so did our relationships. Eventually, the commitments became burdensome, and staying on had the potential to create unhealthy environments.
So far I have only talked about marriage and certainly, this is a big commitment. Yet staying in, or moving on, is something we face in many aspects of our lives. Pretty much everything we do takes some form of commitment. For example, do you continue with your current job – even if you’re unhappy? Should you keep volunteering when you’re not certain you’re work is beneficial? How do you make the decision?
Next month will be about a time when a decision to stay or go concerns something I did for almost two years and why I made the decision to “cut bait.”
If you are in a situation where things have changed and you’re undecided as to whether to stick around or move on, feel free to click HERE to contact me. You can also call or text me at 480-684-2866.
