Can We Trust Even When Life Feels Scary?

I used to think that if I planned well enough, I could keep my life safe and steady. I thought being in control was the same as being happy. Life doesn’t always follow our plans. Lately, my world has felt like a storm. Between the deaths of five people, my son’s transition after prison, and my sister’s diagnosis with breast cancer, the ground has felt very shaky. I’ve learned that when the world is chaotic, I can’t control what happens outside. Instead, I am continuing on my journey as the “architect” of my own heart.

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When things feel overwhelming, we often find ourselves in a knot of Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.). Our thoughts try to anticipate the “what-ifs,” emotions feel heavy, and actions become frantic as we try to fix things we cannot control. Being an architect isn’t about stopping the storm. It’s about building a strong, safe house inside ourselves so we can stay standing while the wind blows. 

I can’t change a medical diagnosis or a legal situation; however, I can choose how I show up for myself and the people I love.

Trusting isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out. It’s about knowing that I have the strength to handle whatever happens next. It’s about being kind to myself, setting boundaries that protect my heart, and finding peace in the middle of the mess.

It is why I wrote my 4-week course.  If you are going through a hard season and feel like you’re losing your footing, I want to help. My T.E.A. Course is a place to learn to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and actions to find your calm again. I’d love for you to join the healing journey.

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How do you feel about making contacts after reading last week’s blog? My example of asking about the Avon brochure was specific to my situation. When it comes to your business – you’ll need to determine what your best question is. Even if you’re not pursuing a business, expanding your contacts is a good habit to achieve – no matter what your life goals are.

Now I’m going to share how I learned to make it easier and more effective.

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Personally, I never want anyone to feel my only interest in them is a sale. The following approach is indirect and easier to implement and the idea is to start a conversation.

For example, physical fitness equipment and attire is available in many stores.  I feel it’s safe to assume that people who are looking to buy health-oriented items are doing so to enhance their outside beauty.

Imagine starting a conversation with an open-ended question…such as “What do you think of this yoga mat?”  Instead of making someone feel like they are being pushed towards something, it’s more like asking for information. If a conversation evolves from this, I have a chance to build a rapport and open the opportunity to hand them a business card so we can connect in the future. I’ve even offered to buy them a cup of coffee to get a second meeting, and then create the opportunity to get their contact information

Naturally, this too doesn’t always work out. So let me address hearing the “no” and how I changed my outlook about being turned down.

Early on, I would set a goal of getting three “yeses” to anything I was working on – and do it until I got my three.  Problem was – it took a lot of physical and mental energy. It is discouraging and is one of the biggest reasons why people don’t succeed.

Now, remember Barb from my last blog? She suggested a book called GO for No by Richard Fenton. This book was a game-changer and helped me to “flip the script.” Instead of looking for “yeses;” I looked for the “nos” and set a goal of 50. Guess what? I reached my 50 each time – with one difference.  I had more than three “yeses!” In fact, sometimes I was getting 10 “yeses” for my 50 “nos.”

Hearing “no” still takes resilience. However, with more “yeses” coming, it does get easier.

Finally, I made more contacts through events. I started with creating my own event by setting up a table in my driveway with Avon products to draw people in.  I was fortunate to be on a corner property and could only do this in the months cool enough to be outside. I was happy even if only 2-3 people stopped to look. Yet one day, a person who stopped by invited me to a multi-business event where I could get more exposure. I paid my entrance fee and set up my table including a basket of Avon products to raffle off. Each time a person entered the raffle, I got their contact information. Naturally there was only one winner, but I called everyone else to let them know that they did not win the prize but could take advantage of a 10% discount off of their order.

As I’ve said before, all this takes courage, commitment, and consistency. Yet when you show your willingness to try, things happen and people notice.

As always, I invite you to let me know your thoughts, ideas, or any questions you have at any time. 

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