The first thing that’s important to know about addiction is this: most loved ones with the problem do not plan to do it on purpose. Too often, potential addicts find drugs at home or in a friend’s medicine cabinet; especially one like oxycodone which has launched far too many addictions and deaths.
In my story I talk about the years of open access I had to drugs; then my pain in dealing with (my son) Bryan’s addiction. When it comes to support programs – I’ve had a lot of experience, and for years felt like I was sitting on the problem without real solutions. I was angry, frustrated, bewildered, and pissed (simply to name a few emotions). Nothing helped me to truly progress until I found PAL.
This program is for anyone over 18 who has an addicted loved one and it’s different. Instead of advice, you get suggestions. Instead of judgment, you receive encouragement. It’s all about love and unconditional support.
For instance, PAL uses helpful statements like “I believe in you,” “I am praying for you” and “I am resigning from my role as your rescuer.” It’s reinforced with books and lessons that teach you what words to say and what actions you can take. The idea is to learn how to respond instead of react.
And there’s more.
PAL educates you on how to be different within yourself. You can’t help others when you are in survival mode as well. By changing your relationship with yourself, you change your relationship with your addicted loved ones.
Others cannot take away your loneliness or pain, and you can’t control the choices they make. PAL (combined with Boundaries) has taught me how to build my inner strength, and feel joy regardless of the choices my loved ones make. And this is crucial – not selfish!
Think about it. Addiction not only takes away the soul of an addict, it grinds down those around them. It becomes too hard to be patient which leads to reactions that can do more harm. PAL empowers you to change how you respond to addicted and non-addicted loved ones, enriching your relationships with both.
And the sooner the better. As Bryan continually says “Be a part of PAL before it’s too late.”
If you would like to chadt some more about this, I’m happy to talk with you. After all, it wasn’t until I participated in PAL that I truly learned I am not alone.
And neither are you.