Can We Trust Even When Life Feels Scary?

I used to think that if I planned well enough, I could keep my life safe and steady. I thought being in control was the same as being happy. Life doesn’t always follow our plans. Lately, my world has felt like a storm. Between the deaths of five people, my son’s transition after prison, and my sister’s diagnosis with breast cancer, the ground has felt very shaky. I’ve learned that when the world is chaotic, I can’t control what happens outside. Instead, I am continuing on my journey as the “architect” of my own heart.

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When things feel overwhelming, we often find ourselves in a knot of Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.). Our thoughts try to anticipate the “what-ifs,” emotions feel heavy, and actions become frantic as we try to fix things we cannot control. Being an architect isn’t about stopping the storm. It’s about building a strong, safe house inside ourselves so we can stay standing while the wind blows. 

I can’t change a medical diagnosis or a legal situation; however, I can choose how I show up for myself and the people I love.

Trusting isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out. It’s about knowing that I have the strength to handle whatever happens next. It’s about being kind to myself, setting boundaries that protect my heart, and finding peace in the middle of the mess.

It is why I wrote my 4-week course.  If you are going through a hard season and feel like you’re losing your footing, I want to help. My T.E.A. Course is a place to learn to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and actions to find your calm again. I’d love for you to join the healing journey.

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Today I’m going to open with a quote from Richard Montanez. 

“As much as I wanted to fit in, I was never created to fit in. We were all created to stand out.” If you don’t know who Richard Montanez is, he’s the creator of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (with his wife’s encouragement) and now owns a $2 billion a year company. My next “aha” from the Global Leadership Summit came from him. 

We were created uniquely to stand out. What does that mean?

Personally, I would buy things like clothes and purses that I couldn’t afford (and didn’t even like) to feel accepted. All I accomplished was to stay in the poverty line and continue to feel the need to fit in. After hearing what Richard had to say, I now understand the advantage of being an outlier. Shedding the need to fit in gives you so much freedom! 

I also decided to “fish in a different pond” a few years ago and connect (remember Henry Cloud?) with people who are smarter than me. Instead of feeling intimidated, I drew ideas from them. So the question you have to ask yourself is…

 “Are you hungry for a change in your life?”

I hope by reading this you will be inspired, encouraged and reminded that who you are matters. Be hungry for a change in your life instead of trying to “buy” your way into acceptance. Avoid people who discourage you. Instead, surround yourself with those who are encouraging. They will help you develop your leadership skills. Richard learned this from the hood where he grew up. He also learned from women and believes that when God created women, he was showing off. I agree!!

If you have people who can help you, take advantage of it. If you need help emerging from poverty to prosperity, let’s talk. I’ve been there and can show you how I’ve made the change. 

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