Can We Trust Even When Life Feels Scary?

I used to think that if I planned well enough, I could keep my life safe and steady. I thought being in control was the same as being happy. Life doesn’t always follow our plans. Lately, my world has felt like a storm. Between the deaths of five people, my son’s transition after prison, and my sister’s diagnosis with breast cancer, the ground has felt very shaky. I’ve learned that when the world is chaotic, I can’t control what happens outside. Instead, I am continuing on my journey as the “architect” of my own heart.

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When things feel overwhelming, we often find ourselves in a knot of Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.). Our thoughts try to anticipate the “what-ifs,” emotions feel heavy, and actions become frantic as we try to fix things we cannot control. Being an architect isn’t about stopping the storm. It’s about building a strong, safe house inside ourselves so we can stay standing while the wind blows. 

I can’t change a medical diagnosis or a legal situation; however, I can choose how I show up for myself and the people I love.

Trusting isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out. It’s about knowing that I have the strength to handle whatever happens next. It’s about being kind to myself, setting boundaries that protect my heart, and finding peace in the middle of the mess.

It is why I wrote my 4-week course.  If you are going through a hard season and feel like you’re losing your footing, I want to help. My T.E.A. Course is a place to learn to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and actions to find your calm again. I’d love for you to join the healing journey.

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This month I’ll start with some questions:
How influential do you feel these days? In other words, how many times do you think your words, actions, and attitude have impacted others?


Remember, as I said in July, we don’t always know if we have made a difference. However, if we don’t get immediate feedback, it doesn’t mean our actions have gone unnoticed.


Last month’s blog was about how to create a culture, and what it takes to accomplish. Today I have some valuable tips to help you make it even stronger.


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Since people are more likely to be influenced by a person they trust and respect, it’s important to be credible. This takes being reliable and trustworthy. Back up your claims with evidence…yet be willing to admit when you are wrong.


Likability is also important. This takes being a good listener (easier said than done!) and being genuinely interested in others. Taking this approach automatically makes you friendly and approachable which increases your impact.


You also need to be persuasive and persistent. In order to be persuasive you have to communicate in a clear and concise manner. Most often, people make decisions based on emotions rather than logic, so in order to be persuasive; you need to appeal to their emotions.


Being persistent can be difficult. We tend to be afraid of bugging people. Yet often it takes time and effort to really make a positive impact. So don’t give up! It takes good communication, and talking face-to-face is especially effective.


Being an influencer means taking a good look at yourself from time to time. All of us have biases so you need to be aware of what yours are – and how they affect your judgment. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself.


And be respectful of others’ opinions. There’s a saying “We agree to disagree.” Even if you don’t agree with those you influence, their opinions hold just as much value as yours do. Try to understand others’ points of view by being open to their feedback. When you listen to what others say, it can help you understand your point of view even better, and this only strengthens your ability to influence others.
Sadly, our media focuses on negative news, making life feel like nothing good is happening. So I encourage you to go back to July and reread all three blogs in this series. One simple act, like a smile…or holding a door open…has more influence than you know. I challenge you to practice your influence and I would love to hear your stories. Call or text me at 480-684-2866. Or click HERE to let me know about your successes. If you like, I would be happy to share these in future blogs with or without you being identified. Nothing makes the world better than to spread positive influence wherever you go.

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