Can We Trust Even When Life Feels Scary?

I used to think that if I planned well enough, I could keep my life safe and steady. I thought being in control was the same as being happy. Life doesn’t always follow our plans. Lately, my world has felt like a storm. Between the deaths of five people, my son’s transition after prison, and my sister’s diagnosis with breast cancer, the ground has felt very shaky. I’ve learned that when the world is chaotic, I can’t control what happens outside. Instead, I am continuing on my journey as the “architect” of my own heart.

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When things feel overwhelming, we often find ourselves in a knot of Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.). Our thoughts try to anticipate the “what-ifs,” emotions feel heavy, and actions become frantic as we try to fix things we cannot control. Being an architect isn’t about stopping the storm. It’s about building a strong, safe house inside ourselves so we can stay standing while the wind blows. 

I can’t change a medical diagnosis or a legal situation; however, I can choose how I show up for myself and the people I love.

Trusting isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out. It’s about knowing that I have the strength to handle whatever happens next. It’s about being kind to myself, setting boundaries that protect my heart, and finding peace in the middle of the mess.

It is why I wrote my 4-week course.  If you are going through a hard season and feel like you’re losing your footing, I want to help. My T.E.A. Course is a place to learn to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and actions to find your calm again. I’d love for you to join the healing journey.

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On March 24th I will be celebrating my 55th birthday. I am so excited and before I go on, I first have to share with you that attendance at my TEA course is soaring; both in-person and with Zoom! I’ll admit, at first the response was lower than I had hoped for. But that turned around last month – and the feedback is very positive. If you are even a little bit curious about what TEA can do for you, don’t hesitate to check it out. (Space is limited.)


Now – why am I so excited to turn 55?


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Not only do I feel younger than the number suggests, I get people who are honestly surprised when I tell them my age. A doctor for instance. At my last visit my doctor was not available so I saw someone new. He was clearly surprised when he looked at me while reviewing my date of birth and said “Do we have a wrong birth year on file?”


Whether in person or on Zoom, I frequently get comments on how young I look. Yes, it is fun to hear this. Yet what’s more important is how young I feel. As crazy as this sounds, I feel younger now than I did at 21.


Why do I feel this way?


Back when I was 21, and for many years afterward, I tried to be in control of everything, including those around me. It’s a struggle that takes too much energy and it makes us feel old. Sound familiar?
These days I call myself a “recovering control freak.” Through classes, seminars, and Boundaries, I learned to understand what I can and cannot control.


And there’s more.


I learned how to turn that struggle into strength…something I will share more about next month.  As always feel free to contact me or by phone at (480-684-2866).

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