Love Your Life

Defining your boundaries – how to get started Part 2

If you read last week’s blog, you know how I had to learn the true meaning of boundaries by receiving an invitation to the Boundaries program at Central. You also know how it took a major event to get me to the first class. Not only has my Boundaries journey redefined my life, it has also redirected my life, as today a co-facilitator.

I’ll go into more details at the end as to how this happened, but first let me tell you about that first class.

After I registered, I texted Linda to let her know I would be there. Her response was “God will meet you there.”

I had no idea what that meant.

By the time I arrived that evening, I was feeling crushed by everything that had happened during the day. Entering the room and not knowing anyone, an overwhelming feeling enter my thoughts, seeking any excuse to leave. But I talked myself into staying. When asked what I wanted from the program, I told the group about my son and calling the police earlier that day due to heroin use in our home and needing help (which lead to his arrest on a warrant). I said I had no idea what I wanted from the program; only that the way my life was going was not working. Just being able to say this made me feel lighter.

At the end of the class, a woman came up to me and asked for a hug. Naturally I thought she was giving me a hug to support me – so I said yes. But when we hugged she collapsed in my arms. I was totally unprepared for this and for what she said next…

…”Mary, thank you so much for sharing this. Right now my son is at my home using heroin and I don’t know what to do.”

I was thunderstruck! I knew this class was speaking to me. Between the book that comes with the class and the ensuing sessions, I learned the root causes of the problems I have had with my mother, past boyfriends, ex-husbands, even friends, and co-workers. I learned the difference between getting to the root of a problem versus simply putting a band-aid over the symptoms.

In a previous blog I revealed my problem of saying “yes” to others to buy their love. Boundaries showed me how to say no which actually leads to healthier relationships with others and myself. That is simply one of the “ahas” I gained. I will share more of these in the future.

At the beginning I mentioned that I now co-facilitate Boundaries. One reason is that I continue to learn with every session. Most of all, I believe it does so much for others. Once an 8-week program, the feedback has us expanding this to a 9-week program and still only costing $15 (including the book). COVID has transitioned us from an In-Person class setting to the Zoom platform which I think has some advantages…one being that it’s not in a church. For some, being in a church is a reason not to go.

Others can’t do it at home because that’s where the problem is – so they go elsewhere, like a park. However, they attend, we know Boundaries is working because, since that first one I attended, over 120 others have completed the class. We are currently almost to the limit for this next class starting in February. And we will continue to do more in the future.

Like Linda did for me, I invite you to attend and see what Boundaries can do for you. If you’re not ready yet, I understand. But don’t hesitate to contact me – even if you only want to know more about it.


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