Can We Trust Even When Life Feels Scary?

I used to think that if I planned well enough, I could keep my life safe and steady. I thought being in control was the same as being happy. Life doesn’t always follow our plans. Lately, my world has felt like a storm. Between the deaths of five people, my son’s transition after prison, and my sister’s diagnosis with breast cancer, the ground has felt very shaky. I’ve learned that when the world is chaotic, I can’t control what happens outside. Instead, I am continuing on my journey as the “architect” of my own heart.

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When things feel overwhelming, we often find ourselves in a knot of Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.). Our thoughts try to anticipate the “what-ifs,” emotions feel heavy, and actions become frantic as we try to fix things we cannot control. Being an architect isn’t about stopping the storm. It’s about building a strong, safe house inside ourselves so we can stay standing while the wind blows. 

I can’t change a medical diagnosis or a legal situation; however, I can choose how I show up for myself and the people I love.

Trusting isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out. It’s about knowing that I have the strength to handle whatever happens next. It’s about being kind to myself, setting boundaries that protect my heart, and finding peace in the middle of the mess.

It is why I wrote my 4-week course.  If you are going through a hard season and feel like you’re losing your footing, I want to help. My T.E.A. Course is a place to learn to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and actions to find your calm again. I’d love for you to join the healing journey.

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Today is about another event that has a much longer and deeper impact on my life. Once again, it comes from a friend who was there at a time when I needed someone.
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You may remember from my July blogs, there were times when I was in a deep, dark place. During this time my friend, Cammie, urged me to get out of the house and would pick me up to attend yard sales. Then one day she told me she was going to take me to church.


No way!  I was a Bears fan and Sundays were game days. She was not deterred and asked what time the game was on. When I told her, she said that was perfect and would pick me up and I would be home in time for the game. “I’ll be wearing my Bears jersey. I can’t go!” Her response shocked me…. Wear your jersey!! You can even wear pajamas, but we were still going to church. I went along with it on two conditions: the church was big enough to duck in and out of and we sat in seats where we wouldn’t be noticed.  We agreed and the plan for her to pick me up was in place.


When we get there less than five minutes after we sat down, a man came up to me and said “Hi, my name’s Ashley. What’s your name?”


“Uh, my name’s Mary and this is Cammie!” I wanted desperately to deflect attention from myself!
“How long since you’ve been to church?”


I mumbled about 20 years and he responded with “That’s interesting. I met a guy a few minutes ago in the lobby who also wearing a football jersey, and it’s been 20 years for him too.”


I couldn’t believe this was happening! What I wanted more than anything was for him to go away.
“Well Mary, it was really nice to meet you and I don’t know why, but I was supposed to meet you today” and with that he disappeared as quickly as he appeared. I looked at Cammie who was as mystified as I was.


The service started and after a few songs, Cal Jernigan (the pastor) introduced the guest speaker…who turned out to be Ashley. Imagine my surprise!!!


I distinctly remember the message I was supposed to hear that day. One of the reasons I had been away from church so long was because I believed the church only wanted my money. Yet here’s what I learned that day…


It is not your money. It is God’s money. God has given you the talents, the resources, and the gifts to generate that income. All He asks is that you steward it well. He doesn’t need your money. I also have noticed the church does not charge admission to attend!!!


As we were leaving the huge lobby with lots of doors, I was ready to quickly duck out. All of a sudden I hear Ashley’s voice saying “Oh hey Mary, it was nice meeting you today!” Seriously??? Then he introduces me to Cal. Again Seriously??? Now, I can’t duck out because they know my name.
This was simply the first day and as I will share next month, making a commitment to the church (and to my present husband) was another roller coaster ride. Stay tuned and as always, feel free to call or text me at 480-684-2866.

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