Ah, 2012! In a nutshell, 2012 would be a year of highs and lows…and it nearly knocked me out. It was a year where I faked my “outside” self by pretending everything was perfect- yet “inside,” I was far from it. Quite honestly, I felt like I was dying. As I mentioned before, I started the year in a household with three incomes and a husband.
Then came the period between February and August…
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Stepping back a moment, I had successfully lobbied my full-time corporate job to part-time hours towards the end of 2011. That ended in early 2012 with corporate layoffs (including me) reducing three incomes to two. If that wasn’t enough, my marriage to Beau ended, bringing my sources of income down to one…Avon. Thankfully Ron did work with me and reduced my payments for a time. If it hadn’t been for Avon, I’m not sure where I would be today.
On the upside, you may recall that I had earned a trip to the Bahamas three years earlier. July brought another Avon bonus with an all-expense-paid trip – this time to Alaska that included a guest. Unfortunately, because things weren’t going well with Beau, bringing him was not an option. Instead, I asked a girlfriend to fill that spot. While I’m grateful she did, it pointed out the fact that I was missing something. You see, most of the other Avon representatives on that cruise were power couples. This meant having a supporting partner, or even working the business together. It’s the kind of support I wanted, yet I had to wake up to the fact that this wasn’t even close to what I had with Beau.
A few weeks later, I addressed the “elephant in the room” by sharing how I felt he no longer loved me. And he said…
“You’re right. I don’t want to be married anymore.”
Everything changed.
I packed up my stuff and two dogs (thank God for their unconditional love!) and moved in with the friend who had gone to Alaska with me. Sadly, one of the easiest ways to lose a friendship is to move in together, and that’s what happened with us.
Trying to put on a good face while life was imploding made me come to the realization that I didn’t know how to be authentic. Remember, all this happened between February and August and I’m happy to say that by the fall, life was about to do another turn. And it would prove to be a good one that I’ll share with you in the near future!
In the meantime, I’ll leave off with this question for you.
How authentic do you feel these days? There’s never a better time than now to do some self-assessment – and it is hard to know where to start. I’m always HERE if you need to talk, or available at 480-684-2866 for a call or text. As you can see, I have experienced firsthand what it’s like to have life soar and dip like a roller coaster. I understand how hard it can be to stay on course.
