When you hear the word “recovery,” what comes to mind? As a rule, society tends to associate recovery with drugs and/or alcohol. We need to remember there are also addictions to other things like smoking and food. When you hear statements such as “I’ve been drug-free for 22 months” or “I stopped drinking (or smoking) two years ago,” these signal success. As you’ll see, what people are really accomplishing is dealing with their hurts, habits, and hang-ups.
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Now you may be asking the question “Mary, what happened to the blogs about building your business?” I thought after talking about enriching my skin and enhancing my features; that you would go back to that.
I will. However, I believe we have one more aspect to focus on when it comes to building your best life.
It’s about building your inner beauty, which is the most important thing you can do for yourself. If we are honest – we all have a hurt, a habit, or a hang-up we would like to change. When we succeed, that win enhances everything we do in life, including building a business.
About a year ago, I introduced the first four “aha’s” I gained from Boundaries. This is where I learned how thoughts become attitudes and these attitudes then become behaviors. (As a facilitator, I continue to participate in Boundaries – which shows how setting them is a continuing process. I will share later how you too can be a part of this class.)
And here’s another win for me.
I recently changed a behavior…smoking…that I have wanted to change for a long time.
This was very difficult. For those of you who know my story, my early life had many things that needed to be changed – including drugs and alcohol. Smoking was harder, yet now I am over two months without a cigarette. At the time, I had several others who also made the commitment to stop. Unfortunately, they have not succeeded for whatever reason. I can only hope my success will help them and others in the future. What I know is that I cannot take on their hurts, habits, and hang-ups.
You see, it’s not magic. Each individual has to want it and have the discipline to do it. For starters, you have to stop lying to yourself (and others). I realized in the last Boundaries class that one of my lies was saying I met some of the best people while spending time in smoking areas. Yes, there are good people who smoke. However, there are also good people who don’t smoke, and I meet them all the time!
Another thing is to recognize what a true reward is. For instance, I recently left a restaurant with a friend who stopped smoking years ago. Outside, we had to pass through the smoking area which was quite smoky due to the number of people there. By the time we reached the car, we could still smell the smoke from their cigarettes. There was a time when that would have triggered a desire for a cigarette. Instead, I realized how the smoke I smelled held no lure for me. I told my friend and she also celebrated the fact that she too was not tempted. We shared a moment of celebration and it was so much more rewarding than having a cigarette!
In summary, getting free of a hurt, a habit or a hang-up takes a strong desire and discipline. You have to:
· look at the behavior
· understand the attitude that creates the behavior
· discover the feelings that bring on the attitude…
· then recognize the thought(s) that triggers the feeling.
Doing this enriches your life which in turn supports your quest to be your own boss. If you need help, I recommend finding a Celebrate Recovery near you for more support.
Life is hard to do alone. It takes a village and it’s why you can contact me on my site, or call or text me at 480-684-2866. And if you want to sign up for Boundaries which has helped me and so many others, I invite you to register HERE now. The next 9-week class starts on Tuesday, April 26th and spots do fill up quickly.