Previously, I described the impact the first Boundaries class had on my life. The second week also hit with a force I could not have anticipated. It started with arriving a little early.
When I entered the room, Don, the class facilitator, was talking to two women. I remembered his mentioning another group he facilitated – Celebrate Recovery – the previous week. I had heard of Celebrate Recovery previously at Central. In fact, I had given some information about it to my son to help James, my ex and Bryan’s Dad. This happened a couple of years before James died.
Let me backtrack a little here. About 15 years after James and I divorced, we started to communicate again. So when Bryan asked me to help James get connected, I thought the best route was to give Bryan the information on Celebrate Recovery and let James move on his own – which he did.
Back to week two and listening to Don, was it possible he and James had met? I had to know. So when Don’s conversation with the others ended, I approached him. He asked me the person’s name and when I said “James,” at first, he said nothing.
You see, one of the protections for attendees of Celebrate Recovery is that names are never given out to maintain confidentiality. I acknowledged this to Don and recapped how my presence at Boundaries was due to my son struggling with his dad’s death. Since James had passed, was it possible to learn if Don had met him?
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Turning the phone to me, I saw James’ name and phone number. “Is this the person you’re asking about?”
Again, I was thunderstruck! Don went on to tell me they had reached out to James but had not heard from him. Now Don understood why. Since the class was filling up, Don asked me to stay after to share something with me. I did and this brought my attending Boundaries into a full circle.
You see…James had struggled with the concept of the Trinity his whole life. After he and Don got into a heated conversation about it, Don asked for permission to send him some articles. (You see, Don doesn’t work on people. He encourages them to discover for themselves.) James agreed to read the articles and after another discussion with Don, he came to understand and accept the Trinity just a few weeks before he died.
Hearing this, I realized how much Don had helped James while still alive. It also opened up my relationship with Don by seeing how well he helps people self-discover what they need to see. Now I co-facilitate Boundaries classes with him and as mentioned here, we have expanded our class size to accommodate the need.
It only took two weeks to realize why Linda (who invited me) said “God will meet you there.” The first week was to help another member dealing with her son’s addiction. The second week gave me even more.
If you remember, I started Boundaries on the day I had to call the police needing help with Bryan. Now, a week later, I connect with Don who gave me a connection with James I could now share with Bryan. When I shared this with Bryan, he said “It’s not a small world, it’s a God world.”
In only two weeks, Boundaries was already giving me tools to help me be the mom Bryan needed. And there is so much more to come.
