Can We Trust Even When Life Feels Scary?

I used to think that if I planned well enough, I could keep my life safe and steady. I thought being in control was the same as being happy. Life doesn’t always follow our plans. Lately, my world has felt like a storm. Between the deaths of five people, my son’s transition after prison, and my sister’s diagnosis with breast cancer, the ground has felt very shaky. I’ve learned that when the world is chaotic, I can’t control what happens outside. Instead, I am continuing on my journey as the “architect” of my own heart.

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When things feel overwhelming, we often find ourselves in a knot of Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (T.E.A.). Our thoughts try to anticipate the “what-ifs,” emotions feel heavy, and actions become frantic as we try to fix things we cannot control. Being an architect isn’t about stopping the storm. It’s about building a strong, safe house inside ourselves so we can stay standing while the wind blows. 

I can’t change a medical diagnosis or a legal situation; however, I can choose how I show up for myself and the people I love.

Trusting isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out. It’s about knowing that I have the strength to handle whatever happens next. It’s about being kind to myself, setting boundaries that protect my heart, and finding peace in the middle of the mess.

It is why I wrote my 4-week course.  If you are going through a hard season and feel like you’re losing your footing, I want to help. My T.E.A. Course is a place to learn to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and actions to find your calm again. I’d love for you to join the healing journey.

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This month I’m following up on what I started in March about feeling younger now, than I did at 21. It’s about control. More specifically, what I can and cannot control.  As I mentioned in that blog – I am a recovering control freak. Yes, recovering. Not only do I enjoy the successes I’ve already achieved, I continue to relish the ongoing process. Here’s how.


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First, let’s remember that age is a number on your birth certificate. Despite the millions of dollars we spend on products to slow physical change, we can’t totally control what happens to our bodies. We also can’t control what other people think and do. The power that we do have is over our mental well-being. Looking back on my story; at 19, I struggled with everything. I tried to control myself, my circumstances, and everyone around me. It was exhausting and it made me feel old. Fortunately, I’ve learned how to change that.


For example, helping or enabling others. We love to think we are doing the right thing by helping. In the past, I took responsibility for others and did what they should have been doing for themselves. I speak from experience about how challenging is it to set a boundary. In other words – when to take control – or give it up. I always have to ask myself – am I empowering or enabling?


Letting go of things and people we cannot control is frightening. It feeds our sense of failure. Yet when we learn how to determine where our influence begins and ends, we become free.  This is where TEA comes in. It’s an accumulation of all the education I have taken to give people a jump start to the freedom they are craving.


I truly celebrate turning 55 because I learned how my thoughts guide my emotions that in turn – influence my actions, I understand what I CAN control. That freedom continues to make me feel better every day. If you, or anyone you know feels overwhelmed by life or simply wants to try a new perspective, contact me HERE, or call/text me at (480-684-2866).

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